If you see somebody who's single, you are likely to think of them as lonely and gloomy, almost as if something is missing from them. If you stop yourself and examine this assumption, it begins to sound odd and even potentially stigmatizing to those who are single.
Being by yourself shouldn't be seen as a curse or just a waiting period until you find a partner. It's time to explore the stigmatization that single people face and the various negative effects of shame society and people impose on you.
Society Is Obsessed With Romance
Turning on your TV or switching to Netflix will expose you to a wide variety of movies and shows. Many of them are focused on romance, are romantic comedies, or have a romantic plot on the side.
The craze around romance doesn't end when you switch off media. When a person has a crush on somebody else and can potentially enter a relationship suddenly, it's the talk of everybody in your friend circle. Whenever you talk with relatives, there's always the daunting question of your relationship status.
Are you single? When do you plan to start a family? Why don't you try dating? Sometimes the way society advertises romance is by shoving it in your face, but even the more subtle and continuous remarks you face daily can have a powerful effect.
At one point or another, you most likely have experienced single shaming, which is a negative judgment somebody places on you for not being in a romantic relationship.
Single shaming comes in all shapes or forms. For some, it's the concerned but nevertheless condescending remarks that you ought to try dating or go out more to find somebody. For others, it's the audacity of some people to shame you for not starting a family yet.
You Should Make The Best Decisions For Yourself
The conventional argument for having a romantic partner has multiple layers to it. First and foremost, as a human being, you crave social connections with others, and having a romantic partner satisfies your sexual needs and a desire for a deep connection.
Second, having a romantic partner means security and comfort, somebody who will always be by your side or will do their best to be supportive even when there are differences in personalities and lifestyles.
Finally, having a romantic partner is the way for you to start a family, which is what many people deeply desire as a way to build a personal legacy and find fulfillment and purpose in life.
It'd be silly to say that having a healthy romantic relationship is not suitable for you, but currently, many people are pressured to enter relationships and are shamed for being single.
Being shamed for being single is psychologically stressful because you constantly feel flawed in the eyes of others. It's deeply hurtful of other people to say something is missing in your life and that you are not whole if you don't have a romantic partner.
A more insidious problem of single shaming is how it pushes you to enter relationships that are not good for you or to stay too long in relationships that are not working.
To constantly feel humiliated for being single is bound to drive some people to enter relationships just for the sake of it. It's also likely to pressure people to remain in unfulfilled relations with a partner to avoid the embarrassment and shame of being single again.
To find happiness and have the ability to influence the world positively and love others, you must first be at peace with yourself. To be in harmony with yourself means to love who you are and to know that you are enough by yourself.
You can't wholeheartedly accept the love of others if you are unsure who you are, whether you are a worthy person to be loved, etc. Nor can you find fulfillment if you haven't discovered your purpose or what you value in life, and according to them, you have picked a partner who's fully compatible with you.
Single shaming coerces you to find a partner even if they are incompatible with your vision for your life and what you aspire to achieve.
The embarrassment and humiliation you receive also rob you of your ability to do a deep soul search. You are constantly bouncing from one relationship to another and worrying about whether this one will work or how you can meet more people and find a suitable partner distracts you from asking yourself the most important questions.
Accepting the love of another person requires you to love yourself. Sustaining a healthy romantic relationship requires you to assess what you truly want, enter a relationship with no pressure and stay with a partner who makes you happy and has values and a purpose similar or compatible with yours.
All of this must begin with a step towards self-discovery.
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It all begins with you, but that doesn't mean you have to be on your own. You can succeed on your own if you put in enough effort, but it's better to have a trusty companion by your side. A source from which you can draw both wisdom and inspiration.